Saturday, 23 April 2011

Darling Vicki

Were there signs? Yes.

1) constant flow of people. Normal people do not have that many friends showing up all the time
2) they were constantly fighting
3) music complaints
4) they broke up a few times and every time it was "we need to move" "we made up, can we stay"

So this was the way it went for the few months leading up to the party.

Annoying, but not sound the alarm annoying.

At 2am, we get a call saying the front door was broken, and there was someone loose in the building. I swept the building down to find what the issue was, while J went to the front door to deal with the situation there. It didn't take me long to find the commotion in the hall outside Darling Vicki's unit.

I walk into the section and see 10 people hauling a half nude chick out into the hall. She wasn't really half nude by choice, but when someone is being resistant to the move on a carpeted floor, their pants have a tendency not to go along for the ride. I yell out that anyone that is not a tenant of the building has about 5 seconds to vacate. Do not look at me, I'm telling you to leave. Immediately.

That clears the hall. Check.

I tell Darling Vicki and partner to leave the drunk chick alone, as the police are on the way.

That puts the fear of god on their faces. Check.

I went to survey the damage to the lobby. It looks a little like downtown Jerusalem. Glass everywhere, and people standing there with a dumbfounded look on their faces.

The police come and deal with our little drunk friend. Seems she was a rap sheet as long as my arm. It also seems our local police are toothless. No charges. No handcuffs. She gets delivered to the drunk tank and home.

We are cleaning up the glass when Vicki's boyfriend comes down to talk. Hat in hand, and head held low, he knows that he went way past the line.

I get in his face and lose it. I can't even remember what was said. I do remember the theme of the conversation was "it's been quite a ride". Like a good little tenant, he stood there and took it. I stopped mid sentence and stormed out. That's when J took over.

No yelling.

No swearing.

She goes up to him and simply says, "I am going to accept your letter to end tenancy tomorrow morning. You are going to date it for the 1st. You are then going to spend the next 2 weeks avoiding all contact with us."

We didn't get to bed until 4am, after the glass company came and repaired the window, as we sat in a freezing lobby as he came, broke the glass he brought, went back to the shop and came back again.

And that's when we learned that references lie.

Darlin' Vicki-A parody of Prince

I knew a girl named Vikki
I guess you could say she was sleazy
I met her in my apartments lobby
signing a minimum one years lease
and she said anytime she pees it hurts
and I knew
another tenant we should find

one night she had a party
and I just couldn't believe
my eyes
one of her friends had smashed a window
and was nude in the hall tellin lies
the cops told her the rights
took her out in the night
and lil Vikki well,
she was now in a bind

The night turned really long
and we rolled in bed til 4 in vain
I can't tell you what the bill was
but my bank will never be the same
Her parties will kick your behind
she'll show you no mercy

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