Monday, 18 June 2012

Phat Bastard

At our main building, in recent history, there was the crazy chick that I already wrote about that managed for years, but after she left and before we started, there was Phat Bastard. 

He lasted 3 months. 

I never really get the full story on things, as the owners we work for don't seem to relish in the stories of building past the way I do, but I pick things up in bits and pieces. 

He came in under the guise of being tough and effective. I guess after the better part of 8 years spent with the hippie love in, "pay what you can, when you can" attitude of the previous manager, they were wooed with the idea of actually having rent in on time. 

He used to sit in the lobby on the first, and hassle people as they came through the door for their rent. He also threatened to remove the front door of people that were late. He made a woman climb in the dumpster to remove old clothes that she had thrown out, for some reason. Oh, and he was a bit of a drunk. 

Now, I don't have a lot of details on this guy, but as a person that has had to remove the front door to an apartment(for legit purposes), I can tell you..that's a lot of freaking work. If I were an asshole guy, and according to some, I may just be, I might be tempted to call your bluff on that one. 

I also can think of a lot of things I would rather do than sit in the lobby and chase people down for rent. You know what I find works wonders? Taking a few minutes to fill out the 10 day "pay to stay" notice. A little tape on the door and you're done! Added benefit: anyone that walks past your door sees that a) you don't pay your rent and b) if I don't pay my rent, I'll get one as well. 

I only met the guy once, and I wasn't left with a warm fuzzy feeling. We had gotten the keys early on what was to be our apartment and I wanted to paint it before we moved in, as it was pink. Who starts rolling pink in an apartment and says, "hmm, a nice neutral color suitable for all" and then proceeds to hit the yellowed ceiling with the roller repeatedly enough to have a stripe around the room. So I'm bringing some equipment in and he stops me at the elevator. 

"Hey. What er you doing?" 

"Oh. Hi! You must be Phat Bastard(the beer belly pokin' out of the ill-fitting Molson Canadian t-shirt was a dead giveaway). I'm painting our apartment." 

"No one told me about that" 

Remember me mentioning that I may just be a bit of an asshole on occasion? 

"Well, I guess you are on a need to know basis. Excuse me." 

He wasn't missed.

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